Wake Up, Andy!

This just reminded me so much of Andy and Dana on the weekend!

Rival Cat Tries to Kill Andy

I have learned that Andy's mother's cat, Matilda, has made an attempt on my housemate, Andy's, life! And her scheme was more cunning than most James Bond movies, leaving no evidence and no witnesses....

Andy's mum, an unknowing participant in the plan, brought around some zucchini slice for her son on the weekend. The slice, at this point, already contained the instrument of death intended for my friend. When the slice was being prepared, Matilda seized her opportunity to take one of those freezer bag twisty ties, and, in a brilliant act of kittenly playfulness, placed it into the uncooked mixture.

The slice was then baked and cut into portions. When no one was watching, Matilda ensured the baited portion ended up on the plate bound for Andy's consumption.

It is to the credit of my housemate's quick-thinking and fast-acting that he recognised the offending material in his meal and removed it before it had the desired effect.

And then this afternoon, this email arrives:
"hello
kitty says sorry for trying to kill you with the freezer bag tie
from matilda"

Matilda is obviously not the professional assassin she makes herself out to be, because any court would consider this an admission of an attempt to commit murder. Luckily for her, I have advised my "client" not to press charges at this time.

As a genral message to any cats out there thinking of an attempt on my friends' lives: you will be unsuccessful, and there will be a retalliation strike!

Gone Fishin

I can't say who it was in case Andy reads this, but one of us almost ended up in the drink!

Andy had been mopping the floors and left the coffee table next to the fish tank. One of us decided to get a closer look at the fish and jumped on top of the tank. How were we to know the glass on top wouldn't hold our weight? So the glass fell into the tank and luckily we got away with only a few wet footprints to give us away.

Luckily by the time Andy got home, all paws were dry, so he doesn't know which one of us it was.

Cat Out Of The Bag

Uh oh! Andy's taken the bag out of the cupboard again. There are some clothes going into it. This usually means he will be gone for a few days.

But where does he go? One day I'll find out. You see when the bag comes out, I usually jump into it, or sleep on top of it. This way I have a greater chance of him not noticing me and accidentally taking me with him.

The trick is knowing just when to get into the bag. I once jumped in and hid there for hours before realising, maybe he is not going tonight!

Evolution

Last night the three of us watched Jurassic Park. Great movie, but they got all the facts wrong.

They debate whether dinosaurs evolved into reptiles or birds. I think it's obvious that they turned into kitty cats. Especially those delightful Velociraptors.

Such a shame we lost that 6 inch claw though!

Unlucky

After putting up Christmas lights yesterday Andy left a ladder in the hallway. Now I'm not superstitious, but who leaves a black cat alone in a house with a ladder leaning against a wall opposite a mirror? What if I were to do something "evil" like walk under the ladder and push it into the mirror? The years of bad luck are just piling up.

Wasted Opportunity

Watching this video, you know nothing bad is going to happen, but I can't help but feel at any moment he could do some serious damage to this woman. Well, I would have anyway!